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Speak to express not to impress
You must always speak to express yourself. Any effort to impress others while speaking does not bring about the necessary result. In fact, it may even alienate your listener/ listeners. People expect you to express an honest opinion; no-body wants to be influenced by artificial means.
When you try to impress others, your body language, your voice and the very language used, make it apparent to a discerning listener that you are cooking up a story. No one is the interested in that.
Whenever you try to feign a style just to show off; it puts people off. So the best thing is to be your natural self. Develop a style by all means. But it should be your own natural style.
Your speech must be preceded by your desire to express yourself.
In the circumstances, I consider, Wani Yoga is a discipline which can be best practiced in our old Gura-Shishya tradition. Guru is always his own real self. He is keen that his disciples receive the maximum advantage of his training. His happiness lies in his disciples; in helping them achieve their goals. Wani Yoga enables you to have total control of your mind, body, body language and the language used by you in communication. The trainer or the coach can monitor your progress only if he or she follows this Guru-Shishiya tradition in the true sense.
I am informed by a friend of mine that today happens to be birthday of Adi Shankaracharya who was one of the greatest gurus propagating Guru-Shishiya Parampara.
In my last post (Lesson 12) I had described how resonance comprises a great quality in male voice. It is true for public speakers as well as singers.
So far as female voice is concern, somehow we do not have many world famous female public speakers. That is because traditionally not many ladies have been great political leaders or others who have motivated people with their Public Speaking Skills.
At the same time I would say that the possibility of ladies leading the society can be as much as that of man. The problem lies only in the opportunity. We did have great females leaders like Margaret Thatcher, Indira Gandhi and Golda Meir all three of them were great leaders, but only Margaret Thatcher was a great Public Speaker. Indira Gandhi’s speeches were undoubtedly motivation she spoke with conviction. But as she generally spoke on higher pitch, whenever she wanted to put more emphases her voice became strained.
Margret Thatcher on the other hand spoke with great ease. She had spontaneity and conviction. Besides her voice was very resonant. It a pleasure to listen to her speeches some of which are available on the YouTube. Golda Meir of Israel was another great leader but an average speaker.
When we look at the present time I find Mrs. Michelle Obama is a remarkable Public Speaker her articulation is exquisite her modulation is commendable and her control over language is appreciable.
In our own country Sushma Swaraj the leader of the opposition in parliament is a public speaker of a caliber. She is articulate and her control over Voice too is reasonably good.
Since more and more ladies are becoming corporate trainer in develop countries and also in our country. We can hope to see a whole breed of excellent ladies’ Public Speakers. Here, I am not talking of great female leaders But female leaders But female Public Speakers.
The quality is which they need to develop our; one zone personal natural style, speaking Sentences and bring about Modulation during the Speech.
I may repeat here that modulation is one’s ability to bring variance in pace, pause, pitch, emphasis on the keyword and the tone.
The good thing is that more and more people including ladies we realizing the importance of clear speech, presentation Skills and Public Speaking.
Ever since I saw these cute Japanese Dogs, I felt that the names given to them were a grave injustice. Both these pretty Dogs live together in New Delhi. They belong to my niece who is also responsible for naming them.
Akku is prettier to look at. Gabbar’s face is totally black. Akku’s eyes are charming. But Gabbar’s eyes are visible only when he is angry. In the gone by era in Punjab elders would express a hot tempered person by saying
“Gussa te oudee nakk te baitta rahenda hai”
anger always stays on the tip of his/her nose. But Gabbar’s nose is hardly visible. His anger emerges from his deep rooted negative instinct – jealousy. Gabbar is very jealous of his prettier brother Akku. He cannot tolerate if any attention is given to Akku by anyone much less by my niece.
And yet, both love each other. Throughout the day they like to stay together. There are two maid servants in the house. Both Akku and Gabbar are extremely fond of them. The maids feed the pets as their own children. Sometimes my sister or my niece also feed these pretty pets. These are special occasions for them. They show their happiness by rolling on the ground. They jump and they dance. Just to express their joy.
I find there is a lot to learn from these two little animals. Some of the points which come to my mind are as below:
- That it is human to be jealous, yet the competitive jealousy should not be carried too far. Like Gabbar, we should forget and move on with our playful life.
- They feel upset if no attention is paid to them but only for some time. The moment you look at them, and call they jump on you. So they don’t hold grudges or get mad at you.
- They like the maids but they enjoy the company of their owners better. So they observe the propriety.
Thanks for reading.
Education is necessary, but skill is essential. Unfortunately, our education system per se is such that it hardly helps an individual develop skills. Much less the skills I think are most important for living life happily and successfully. I am talking about two skills in particular – skill with oneself, and skill with people.
A child is born with some tendencies which may have a lot to do with his/her parentage. What is his father’s attitude to life, what is that of his mother, and more importantly how their relationship with each other. While these factors continue to have their influence on the growth of the child, various other influences start playing an important role during the growing
years. The teacher, the class mates, friends, relatives, and neighbors – all influence the child. It is hard to say how much these help in developing either of the two skills which I have mentioned above – skill with oneself, and skill with other people.
So what should be done? Whatever best steps can be taken by all concerned for developing both these skills. The education system as it is today can hardly help. Teachers are bound by the curriculum and the parents may not be able to find the time from their busy schedule in the competitive life of today. But the ever growing media today can play a very important role provided a parent/parents are able to guide and regulate the exposure and use of the media by the child. The significance of Internet must be realized. All the knowledge required is available on the net. But one may say that a skill cannot be delivered by the information/knowledge on the net. Yes it is true to a large extent. Yet you tube presentations and other interactive programs make it possible to learn a lot from the net. In times to come, I am sure, the growth of the social media with websites focusing on special subjects will bring about a revolution in the concept of education and training. The need is that the parents, teachers and mentors motivate learners to be focused and stick to what they must and should not be distracted.
Developing skill with yourself, to me means listening and talking to your oneself. It means to understand your heart, identify what you really like and to concentrate your energies towards these.
Developing skill with people means to understand simple human psychology. You interaction with them should never ignore the following basic principles;
I) That each one is interested in more in himself/herself than you.
II) That I, me, mine puts people off.
III) That making people talk makes them feel important.
IV)That when you win an argument you lose a friend so never argue.
V) That listening attentively to others will make them feel important. They like you most when you to that.
VI) That you need to skillfully convince people. If you say something that is obviously to your advantage, people will be skeptical. So do it differently. Say how an important third person appreciated your products/efforts/service. This will help create confidence in the minds of people about you.
More on this in my next Post. Thanks for reading.
It is a common knowledge that we in India have started aping the west some of the more forward ones young as well as old take pride in dating. The concept of one night stand has also found its route and is moving forward in the West.
Elders bemoan that youngesters are forgetting our original values. I am reminded off what Mahatma Gandhi had said at the time of Independence. “Desh to apna ho gaya lakin log paraye ho gaye”. While we have become an Independent nation our people have become dependents – dependent on the ways. It may not have been true at that time but when we look around the environment today one feels that foolishly we are aping the West. We want to the kind of parties that have been happening for decades in the West youngsters like their clothes to be modeled on the latest Western fashion. We eat pizzas instead of poori aloo, young ones like pepsi more than lassi and so on….In Mumbai Bhel puri was known as a common mans delicacies, its popularity was among many other cities but now the Chinese foodies have cropped up and Chinese Bhel ‘is gaining ground’.
There is a lot to learn from every civilization, unfortunately what we don’t learn is the civic sense and cleanliness of the West, and doggite determination and hard work of the Chinese.
Its distressing to find that nouve rich while stopping and the signals open the door of the car and spit out, little realizing the the roads belong to the nation. The local trains are disfigured with various posters. The process of cleaning the compartments we are told has become very expensive in view of the highly effective glue, besides littering the tracks with wrappers banana peels etc…. creating a nuisance for the railway authorities. They have to spend a lot of money try to keep the tracks clean. We don’t stand in qu pushing even elderly. we have become totally insensitive out of sheer selfishness, honking is rampant even when not required. We don’t observe the lane driving. We have become a nation of only I Me and Mine….By and large we are never on time and blame the traffic when late for appointments. There is a lot more to be said and a lot more to be thought off.
Let NGOs take up civic sense and cleanliness as their prime project which will surely will be good for the new generation.
A few days back, we had a brain storming session on personal productivity. Organisational productivity is a subject that may attract more attention than any other in the management field. But what is personal productivity? Does it mean how does one manage his/her time? The answer is yes and no. Yes, time is an important aspect of personal productivity. Rather, it could be so provided your activities are aligned with your goals. And yet it is a lot more. Does it mean one’s achievement towards realization of personal goals? Not just that! Personal goals may change. Personal vision may change. And if one may say so personal mission statement if one ever cares to establish that – that also may change.
When we talk of mission statement or vision or an organization, that hardly ever changes. But when we are talking of an individual, the factors that affect a person’s likes and dislikes, desires, drastically change with changing circumstances, or even without these.
According to me the most important factor for a person’s success is his/her personal productivity. Now I will like to define it as far as I am concerned. As one grows one realizes that it is not just money, not just health, not just family, or your social status, hobbies etc., that bring to you happiness, but it is a combination of all these in varying proportions. So what we need to do is to align all our activities to achieve whatever we want in the aforesaid different fields.
Therefore a daily review of what you do becomes very important. In the highly competitive world we have today, the targets that the organizations set for you are hard ones. These sap your energy and rob you of the power and ability to think what you must do. You only start following sometimes even unachievable targets. In the process, you totally destroy you concept of personal productivity.
Hence, what is really needed is to have the right balance and proper perspective towards life. It is only such a healthy attitude that strikes a right balance between family and friends, home and work, health and money that will lead to a truly happy and successful life.
Lots of good books are available which help you develop a proper perspective some of these are:
- Bhagwad Gita, ISKON:
- Seven Habits by Successful People by Steven Covey
- Power of Positive Thinking: Dr. Vincent Peele