The mind that is anxious about the future is miserable. There are more things to alarm us than to harm us, and we suffer more often in apprehension than reality.
-Seneca 4 B.C.? 65 A.D.
Anxiety is the worst habit of human personality. In fact one only needs to be concerned about any untoward situation, but that should never lead us to worry about anything that may happen. It is said that the fear of death is worse than death. Often, many fatal mistakes may also be made because of fear of uncertainty.
Anxiety is also called the parent of many sins. In spite of the fact that we all know that negative thinking, worry or anxiety never help, yet we fall prey to these atrocious daemons. In a world where everything is doubtful, and where we may be disappointed, and yet at times be blessed in the very disappointment, why this restless stir and commotion of mind? Can it alter the cause? No. Can it unravel the mystery? No. Can these negative habits resolve any of our woes? No. Then why do we become the cause of our own sufferings?
The reason is not far to seek. The idiotic rat race that we are run like marathon runners is the main culprit.
So we are all stressed. We don’t like anything. Further even we may start thinking that the life doesn’t have any significance and therefore it’s an unnecessary burden.
That makes stress management a critical subject of personal management and business management. Due to the ever pervading stress, we lose touch with literature arts and all other finer things of life which act as the stress busters or which may even change our negative attitude which makes anybody’s life miserable.
Other reasons of stress are as below:
Because of the impossible targets the company you are working for; you are expected to achieve. In turn, you lose perspective and don’t care fore the work life balance. You only slog for achieving your sales or other such performance targets.
Thus the professional, today, has only one goal for which he has to slog day and night and that is keeping the job secure which is necessary to run your family, to make both ends meet somehow.
Due to no break from the rut, efficiency drastically suffers and the pressure on poor man increases. The business owner doesn’t realize this. There is a stark competition out there and the CEO has to produce numbers to satisfy his hungry business owners who are always concerned with the valuation of the company.
After day’s hard work, when he returns home the only entertainment, he turns to is television. Unfortunately instead of receiving any solace, he is bombarded with only negative news. Negative news about rapes, murders, scams, fatal accidents and the like. These are all delivered in high voltage manner where reporters compete with one another to use high pitch mind disturbing voice. After all they only concerned with the TRPs.
With a view to bring some relief to the sad situation of those who suffer from the above ills, I offer a break from the mundane routine. I give below a famous poem of William Wordsworth. The words chosen by the poet create music just as imagery used creates a beautiful enlightening theme. You may enjoy reading it aloud.
I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud
By William Wordsworth
I wandered lonely, as a cloud
That floats on high, o’er vales and hills,
When all at once, I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing, in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretched, in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I, at a glance,
Tossing their heads, in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not, but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth, the show to me had brought:
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
Thanks for reading.
Every tide yields to an ebb.
Every high heralds a low
Storm in sea secures a calm
These are nature’s fluctuations, which flow.
Day fades to fetch the night
Until it is morn again.
Spring softens winters worst bite
Happiness returns without a stain.
Success and failure are intertwined
Joy for ever; you will never find.
Life does depend on what you do
More than that, it is your attitude.
In today’s world, one cannot perform traditional work at a modern pace. Traditional work has traditional rhythm for which you need to be calm. You may be busy, but you must remain calm which sometimes might not be possible in present environment. It is often assumed that having more money eases the path through life, but sometimes it also brings added complications. Proper Plan is always required to make more money in order to lead a modern lifestyle. You may wish to acquire clothes or things that are more expensive simply to show off, trying to create a big impression. Conversely, the style depends on, what you do with these things. Thus, Fashion is what you buy, while style is what you do with it.
The modern lifestyle with its many fascinations, distractions and temptations can offer us several things, but the meekest of all goals – your inner peace – seems the one illusive thing beyond your reach. In fact, Modern lifestyle can destroy your peace. If not destruction it can disturb your peace. So do not ever let your lavish lifestyle steal your peace.
The economic anarchy of capitalist society and its impact on Indian mind and ethos are one of the key factors that lead to stress. When you sturdily desire to have something which is difficult to acquire, then obviously you’re under stress. Modern lifestyle requires position which in turn requires money, your extra effort or corruption or anything that is unworthy. Apart from the pressure of modern life, your stress level will also differ based on your personality, attitude, habits and risk factors. Expecting things to be easy that are normally not so – can further lead to stress which in turn requires you to change your habits and attitude which is difficult, but not impossible.
Since the consequences of traumatic and chronic stress are serious, it is vital to find out ways to mitigate stress. These kinds of stress cannot be completely removed but can definitely be kept under control. The first step in managing stress is identifying the cause. Then it is necessary to contemplate on your values. Your values tend to give you a direction, to deviate your mind from unnecessary material acquisitions and positions.
Meditation is undoubtedly one of the best stress management techniques known, since ancient times. Sit in a relaxed cross-legged fashion, try to control your mind and affirm that your life is in significance. And that implication will not allow you to feel jealous and envious of people and their positions. Avoid developing grudge on people who are leading an affluent life with a luxury car, bigger house, etc. It doesn’t mean that you should kill all your desires. Rather, have a clear goal, strive hard to achieve it, concentrate and then contemplate it.
The only person you should try to compete with – is the person you were yesterday. Give up comparing yourself with others. Don’t change to be better than those around you. Instead, change yourself into a better person. Review everyday whether you are reaching towards your goal or not. Achieving specific goals requires focus, approach and continues efforts. Perseverance is another vital aspect of life for which you require strong willpower and courage. Take risks as this may lead to change in your attitude and make you stronger, courageous thereby mitigating your stress to a large extent.
Thanks for reading.
Attitude is your response to a situation, circumstance, person or an object. But the detailed definition of attitude would be; a predisposition or tendency to respond positively or negatively to a situation, circumstance, person, idea or an object. It influences a person’s choice of action and response to challenges, incentives, rewards etc. These are called stimuli. Stimuli are challenges, incentives and rewards. Four major components of attitude are –
- Emotions and feelings
- Cognitive – belief or opinions held consciously
- Inclination for action , spontaneity
- Evaluative – positive or negative response to the stimuli
The first 3 components influence or determine the 4th component.
The importance of Attitude can hardly be exaggerated
It controls our lives. This is why it is extremely important. We must also understand the difference between positive and negative attitude. It is important to know what these both can do for us.
Positive attitude brings strength, energy, motivation and initiative.
Person with a positive attitude will ask “How something can be done?”, rather than saying, “It is very difficult. We don’t know whether it can be done or not.”
It gives you power over your circumstances rather than your circumstances having power over you. That’s the power of positive attitude; it gives YOU the power. You control circumstances, rather than circumstances affecting you or your behavior.
It is also an understanding of the fact that nothing can change until you change. Therefore, everything changes once you change. You have to identify what are your habits, what are the things that are holding you back. And you have to overcome those, and to overcome those, you have to change.
It is necessary to train your mind to see good in everything. To see something positive, so that it encourages you to go ahead in whatever you are trying to do. Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it. Let’s make it positive.
It will be a good idea, to decide and say it to yourself every morning that you will face everything that comes to you today with a positive attitude. All things about you are important and you should give importance to all those things. Only when you are careful about everything around you, others will give you the respect you deserve.
While positive attitude will help you in every aspect of life, negative mind will never give you a positive life. It will create only negativity. Further, negative thoughts create negative situations.
A bad attitude leads you nowhere. You cannot go very far until you change it. Therefore, if you identify that your attitude needs some enhancement, do it sooner than later. A person with negative attitude sees difficulty in every opportunity. Whereas a positive thinker, sees an opportunity in every difficulty. This is a big difference. How can you change? You have to figure it out for yourself. Because it depends on your habits.
Positive thoughts are good, but they are not enough. They have to be followed with positive feelings and positive actions. Actions are most important. Without actions you cannot have the benefits of positive attitude. Attitude has to be supplemented and supported by respective actions.
The only disability in life is bad attitude. There is no reason why you should live with a disability which is under your control. There are some difficulties we have to live with. But it’s not so with your attitude. Your attitude is something you can change and the best thing is to change it. Whenever you feel pain in your life, think about its full form –
P – Positive
A – Attitude
I – In
N – Negative situation
If you have a tendency to self doubt it keeps giving more negative energy to feed on. That means you are actually attracting negativity. One American in his grey years said “my life has been full of misfortunes which never took place”.
Another man had said, “I don’t have time to hate people who hate me, because I am too busy loving people who love me”.
Thanks for reading.
“Life is a race. If you don’t run fast, you will be trampled”!
Yes! Indeed, once one starts toddling or even before that the race begins and one keeps wondering “What made me lose and the other one win, the same race?”One questions oneself amidst the darkest deep nights until one gets no answer and finally blames it up to the destiny. One often becomes uncomfortable when one thinks about the failures one had especially when one doesn’t get valid reasons for the same.
But we tend to forget these monologues – thanks to the mundane activities of one’s life. But if we dig deeper, the exercise has the power to take us closer to the solutions. This book aims to give you an insight into life which is a mixture of ups and downs, failures and successes. Once we understand this and accept the reality, it no longer remains a jigsaw puzzle. Life is journey. All our goals are but milestones, and we need to enjoy the journey.
At a certain stage of life, one tends to compare oneself with others. It is indeed a natural tendency wherein one often measures one’s success, joy or happiness by comparing these with those of others’. And then confronts a battery of questions like below:-
“Why am I not rich like him? Though we studied together and are best friends how come he/she has achieved what I could just think of? What makes him/her so very desirable? In short, one tends to become jealous of other’s success. Jealousy, certainly, is best avoided but if nailed properly could give us the desired results like success, happiness, prosperity and also peace of mind.
Through this book, I have tried to help the reader understand themselves better to ward off various negative influences and personality development needs. These hinder your chances to succeed. The book addresses the personality issues, and shows the path towards improvement. It will help to elevate your self confidence to an untapped level.
The book also throws light on important habits, skills and behavioral traits which successful people possess and practice. The contents have been divided into following chapters.
“A bad attitude is like a flat tyre! If you don’t change it, you will never reach anywhere”!
Attitude defines the major part of your personality. It makes you who you are. It is the way you respond to what you face in your life. Thus, a positive person seeks opportunities in the various hurdles he/she encounters whereas a negative person finds faults with every situation. This book will help you identify your attitude and learn the ways to correct the flaws by adopting certain procedures.
Today’s world is a shrunken world. Globalization has brought us closer but you should have a knack of able communication with the world around you. Both, verbal and written communication skills are a must you to understand others and to express yourself effectively. This book aims primarily at pointing whether you lack these skills and, if yes, the various ways to improve on these. We, also, look forward to hone your existing communication skills through this book.
- Interpersonal skills: – Man is a social animal. We continuously interact with the family, colleagues, friends and society around us. We have to work with those around and seek harmonious relations with all. Interpersonal skills come into the picture when we need to build and maintain cordial relations with the society. Through this book we take you to the various methods which would help you imbibe the necessary interpersonal skills.
- Continuous Improvement: – Stagnation doesn’t breed success! Is it not true? Today’s fast changing world demands dynamic people who keep abreast of latest information and the changing advanced technology. Successful people, often, have a quest to explore more, learn more and thereby, pursue excellence. But one cant be directionless in exploration. This book is a must have guide so that you know what are you heading towards.
- Willpower: – Willpower is the strongest virtue which successful people possess and which helps them achieve distinguished success. It is the ability to perform consistently under the testing times and the ability to withstand the difficulties. Willpower, alone, often defines one’s success. This book sheds light on the way to focus your physical, mental and intellectual energies and to build strong willpower. Success, then, is just a few steps away with strong willpower.
6) Habits: – Power of good habits are vital to success. The book intends to inculcate all the basic formal good habits like humility, understanding, and empathy for others. It will also help you develop a sense of humor which is a rare trait these days. This book will enable you to enhance your self esteem be the best of yourself.
- Time management: – Time and Tide wait for none. This might sound a cliché, but it is the hardcore truth. One needs to effectively manage this very resource which is equally distributed to everyone on this planet. This book will hold your hands and guide you to use time in the best possible manner.
How to use this book?
Well, before using this book one needs to have undergone a self analysis. An analysis helps in the long way to identify one’s strengths and weaknesses. One needs to retrospect about the successful times and identify what contributed to those distinguished events. Was it your sheer talent, initiative or a group effort? Once you get answers to this question, ask yourself again whether you still use those elements in your endeavors? If you encounter a negative answer, ask yourself again “Why not?”After all why should happy history not repeat itself?
It is equally important to ponder over the failures of life as it is to dwell over success. Failures are the major lessons to be learnt in life. Ask yourself,” When did I fail and Why?” Is it because of some shortcomings? If the answer is yes, note down the shortcomings and counter them with the methods in this book.
This book can be used as a reference manual for developing a desirable and successful personality. Of course, you need to answer all the questions tabulated in the self assessment form.
Happy personality development ahead!
What is leadership excellence? What are the important features? How is it supposed to be pursued? These are the questions that we will consider. There are 6 steps, which I think, that a leader needs to take in order to pursue excellence. These are:
The leader’s attitude is very important. Self awareness too is very significant. But more importantly, proper implementation of any idea in great detail is critical. Other 3 important aspects are- accepting responsibility, realizing that pursuing excellence is your own choice and determination, and finally the leader must be must ensure that the team members are in a position to live up to the leader’s expectations. Having said that, let us now deal with each of these 6 steps one by one.
Step 1. Any idea or plan must be executed/implemented with great precision. In fact the quality of implementation of an idea is even more important than the idea itself. Leading management Gurus advocate that ‘A’ quality implementation of ‘B’ quality plan is more productive then ‘B’ quality implementation of ‘A’ quality plan. When we look through the finer details of any task, we are able to follow its original objectives. But it doesn’t happen if we overlook the details. Excellence is a continuous process. It is not just an event. It is not just an accident. But it is your choice which you follow step by step, always. This becomes easier if you love every moment of your life and therefore if you love everything that your do from moment to moment.
Step 2. Your attitude is extremely important. Excellence is not just a skill like those skills you require for doing anything correctly and nicely. Excellence is your attitude to do every job with at most care and while enjoy at the same time. Precision and enjoyment may appear to be incompatible but they are not. There is no doubt that you have to follow this practice of using eye for detail and getting satisfaction for following the finer details at the same time.
Step 3. The good news is that there is no preparation required to pursue excellence for the leader. It depends entirely on their choice- decision and determination to follow the decision. One may decide just now that henceforth from the next moment onwards he/she will do everything while pursuing excellence. Sometimes there may be time constraints and other such difficulties. But the pursuit of excellence teaches you make best use of the available resources. Some people talk of discipline. Excellence is not discipline. It does not ensure quality of work which can be classified in the required category. Discipline is defined as that you must do something at a time when it needs to be done even when you don’t like to do. In a way it cages you while the ‘excellence’ knows no such restrictions. It emerges from the application of your mind and the joy that your draw out of doing something that you like to do.
Step 4. The 4th important step that leader must take is to accept responsibility for excellence in a group life. The leader does not teach his follower to achieve perfection. Perfection is unattainable. But when you chase perfection you catch up with excellence. The leader ensures that his/her followers understand it very well. Such leaders have the ability to motivate the followers to such an extent that the commitment of the followers becomes as strong as that of their leader. This is particularly true in respect of the political leaders. Dr. Martin Luther King is one such example. But for him Barak Obama would not have become the President of USA.
Step 5. Self awareness is something that the leader must practice. It trains him/her to observe their actions from moment to moment. They develop the ability to change their action as per the requirement of changed circumstances. Their decision making process does not suffer a jolt even if most unexpected event take place. In our sacred book, ‘The Bhagwat Gita’ such a person is known as ‘Stith Pragya Purush’. It depicts not only the alertness of the mind but also the coordination between the mind and the reaction which lead to necessary speech and or action.
Step 6. Last but not the least the leader has to be realistic. They can pursue excellence only if their expectations are reasonable. Any unachievable task if set before the team is bound to de-motivate them. This does not mean that the team member can take things easy. Life is such that for achieving any significant result you have to stretch yourself. It’s the leaders job that he practices not only himself but also ensures that the team member follow suit.
When the leader undertakes their journey as per the steps enumerated above, it is then that the leadership excellence is pursued.
Thanks for reading.
Life is a continuous interplay of problems and solutions. Every day comes with some kind of problems small, medium or large. It is our job to find a solution and resolve the same with our required action. Not finding a solution or alternative solutions is the biggest problem which needs to be avoided in any case. “It is said that every challenge offers new opportunities. No doubt it does. Then how is it that we are afraid of challenges. Two reasons. Our negative attitude and lack of courage. Then what should we do? How do we change? How should we develop a positive attitude? Certainly there is no quick fix. But the reward of bringing about this change i.e. from negative attitude to cultivating positive one, very well deserves, the efforts that we have to put in. And what are these efforts? How do we go about it? Chisel this change with following measures:
- Look for rose flower not the thorns. No doubt the rose plant is full of thorns. If you are afraid about the thorns you may never reach the rose. So focus only on the rose. Be careful about the thorns and get the rose. Rose is your reward. In fact that’s what you want- the rose. But the plant is full of problems. These are challenges. Don’t be scared about challenges and with careful efforts you will surely secure your results.
- Procrastination is the bane of life. It doesn’t allow you to go ahead and take action. Procrastination pushes you into laziness and a maze of indecisive thinking. It is the worst enemy of positive attitude. So defeat it. Always believe in ‘doing it now!”
- Anyone has the strengths and weaknesses. Rely on your strengths. Leverage these for productive work. Leverage these for overcoming your weaknesses. Identify the weaknesses and do all what it takes to overcome these. It will raise your self-esteem. It will develop your positive attitude.
- Banish these four negative emotions that ruin your efforts to develop a positive attitude. These are: Indecision, Suspicious, Greed and Credulity. Actually each one of these emotions becomes the reason for tragedy of Shakespearean Heroes as under.
- Hamlet was indecisive.
- Othello was an embodiment or suspicious.
- Macbeth moves to the tragic end because of unending Greed.
- King Lear suffered because of credulity. Being credulity leads to people hoodwinking you. This leads to disillusionment & suffering. In turn, it makes you a negative thinker.
- Breed Positive Assumptions about people and about situations. Often times, we do not reach out to people for help because we are afraid of rejection. Never be afraid of rejection. Even if it happens, take it in its stride. Often, you will be surprised that those very people regarding whom you harbored negative assumptions are happy to help you. I read a book which in the preface talked about success- Eleven important principles of success and what are these? Ask, Ask, Ask………..11 times.
- Marry the spouse whom you love. Otherwise start loving earnestly whom you marry. Our likes and dislikes are not writings on the wall. They keep on changing like anything else. So you can start loving your job and you must. It will make your attitude positive.
- Last but not the least. Avoid negative influences. Don’t have company of negative people, don’t read negative literature and don’t watch negative movies. All pleasure seekers end in pain. Those who lure you to undesirable stuff don’t deserve your attention or regard.
Thanks for reading.