Confidence

Ragging in Schools & Colleges

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In spite of the law against ragging in schools and college, the problem seems to have gone unabated. Some Institutions have taken many initiatives at their level but the results are far from satisfactory. Schools in U.S.A. also suffer this problem. But the reasons there are often different. Children of different races study together. Oftentimes problems take place due to racism. Unfortunately in India too, the bullies have become rampant which results in extremely unwarranted results. Bullied students lose their confidence. Self esteem suffers to such an extent that it lasts years after such incidents have taken place.

Due to the current education system which is a continuation of the education policy by the British who wanted to breed meek white collar workers and clerks the children are not assertive. Many brilliant students who are excellent in their study find it difficult to express themselves. How to be assertive? They don’t even know.

In such a situation, the only remedy lies in encouraging professionals & academies wich have specialised in the area of personality development and other related soft skills. We have a special skills development ministry. Hard skills areas are duly covered in their various programmes. But soft skills do not feature as essentials. Needless to say that it is essential that people must have an appreciable ability to express themselves.

Hope necessary steps will be taken in this direction by the concerned authorities.

Language and speech should be a part of curriculum of all professional colleges. Good communication is an essential pillar of a developed nation. And so, it need to be recognized.

Thanks for reading.

Dictionary meaning of POISE enlightens us!

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What is Poise?

  • According to the Cambridge Dictionary, poise is defined as calm, confidence in a person’s way of behaving or a quality of grace moving in an attractive fashion; balance in the way a person moulds or moves their body. Examples: he would be embarrassed for a moment but would quickly regain poise. Her confidence and poise show that she is a top model. Further example:
  • A lady with a lot of poise says – I am enough, I am full of sparkle and compassion, I genuinely want to make world a place I love. I practice kindness; I am not afraid of truth, I am loyal, adventurous, supportive and surprising. I am a woman, I am enough, I make mistakes but I own them and I learn from them, sometimes I make a lot of mistakes.

Only if you have poise, you can be confident, you can be graceful & elegant; you can be anywhere and make your presence felt. It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it as explained by the famous philosopher, Aristotle.

Oscar Wilde once said “Now-a day’s people know the price of everything and the value of nothing”.

A poised man knows the value. He may also know the price but considers value more important than price. It can also be attributed that grace and elegance will never go out of fashion as poise and elegance are always loved and appreciated. It can also be said that key to winning is poise to be maintained under stress, among other qualities. Such is the importance of poise. Poise can also be felt inside one’s feelings, character and thoughts. It’s  just being oneself, being at ease and never fighting oneself, never underestimating one’s abilities. It is pretty impressive to see students standing in front of their peers. It takes poise, talent and courage because poise remains with us. Audrey Hepburn, a British actress of yester years said “poise is the knowledge that you are never alone, for beautiful eyes, look for good in others, for beautiful lips look for words of kindness and poise. Opt for the knowledge that you are never in dire difficulty”.

It also means to beat defeat with dignity, to receive criticism with homour and humility. These are also the marks of maturity and elegance. All in all, it is poise. It can also be stated that one should never hesitate, never try to hide oneself and be afraid of facing consequences or have shame, standing up on the values one believes in. Never to regret the past; it’s a waste of time as there is a reason for everything. Every terrible thing that one must have gone through in their lives also leave some messages. Every mistake that has happened would have a deep meaning associated with it. The only way one can earn respect is if one respects themselves and to do what he/she considers is the right thing; not to apologies for being oneself. Accepting your mistakes committed requires a lot of poise.

In a stress full situation, one can be concerned or little worried as well but maintaining poise you can overcome all negative feelings. Poise can also be mean as one’s ability to balance the extremes of life. Sometimes we find life difficult like a turbulent sea. But poise helps to maintain equanimity and dignity.

It is said that “never go through life, but grow though life”. In other words always be original, be yourself. Don’t try to duplicate someone in the process however successful the person may be, never try to copy or imitate others.

Further, life is like riding a bicycle. To keep one’s balance he/she must keep moving and never be stuck. Never think of past; never worry about future, but learn to live in the present. Our present alone and shape our future.

How to achieve poise?

Focus in your work gives you poise; patience gives you poise. But achieving success without work can only be found in the dictionary. Likewise maintainning poise without efforts is  not conceivable at all .The necessity to do one’s work or perform duty has been emphasized in our  great book of knowledge – The Bhagwat Gita. It says man maintains his balance, poise and sense of security only if he is moving forward. If he is stuck, he is dismayed and not able to perform his duty. He loses poise as well.

Sir Winston Churchill who had set an example and was an institute in his own right wittily said. “A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity but an optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty but keeping balance in both the situations”.

We must remember that poise and power are inseparably associated. It can be stated that the calm and balanced mind is strong and great mind but the hurried and agitated mind is a weakling. So never be in a hurry and never try to do anything ‘yesterday’. Be patient as the things do take their own time.

Never be upset with the circumstances if it is not in your favour and despite genuine hard work. One is not able to perform, as per expectation always. But patience is the key. And so is poise the ultimate key to elegance and success.

Thanks for reading.

Seven Times you Fall Get up Eight!

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A Japanese proverb advocates that ‘Seven Times You Fall Get up Eight’. That is resilience. You don’t ever give up. In competitive life, today, setbacks cannot be avoided.  A rubber ball when thrown to the ground, bounces back. But you have to bounce back even higher knowing that repeated falls are inevitable.

Resilience gives you courage not to abort the journey because of problems in the way. Life’s journey in variably has many impediments. Often times these are unexpected ones. Everyday must brings a new beginning. It’s like writing on a clean slate about life. Experience is said to be a unique teacher. You fall, you get up, you are hurt, and yet again you fall but you keep going. Every time you fall and get up there is lesson to be learnt. Accepting this reality without being mentally disturb  is resilience.

It requires trust in you to maintain this attitude. A bird sitting on a branch of tree continues to do so in spite of wind shaking the branch. The bird does not believe that the branch will not fall, but it has faith on its wings. There is no material as resilient as the human spirit. Once we realize and accept this, we are able to take control of our attitude which in turn, strengthens our confidence.

In other words, resilience is how you respond and recover from what has happened to you. Your experience will tell you that it is best not to expect that things will happen the way you want these. Efforts may not bring the result that you desired. But efforts must make our resolve even stronger. Energise you to make your will like a rock that is capable of even facing even more powerful jolts. That is resilience.

Further, challenges only make the life more interesting. Meeting the challenges makes the life more meaningful. Every day gives you an experience, a lesson for the future.

You have to be patient with yourself. Take only one step at a time Step by step you are able to climb the most steep, most difficult mountain. You must repeat to yourself that you alone have the power and responsibility to face your challenges bravely and try to come out as a winner.

Today, we must accept this new reality without being mentally hurt. A person may not be the strongest, but he/she needs to be most adaptable to change. One must always remember that the real strength of a person is known when being strong is the only choice, the only way to survive.

Seven Times you Fall Get up Eight!

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A Japanese proverb advocates that ‘Seven Times You Fall Get up Eight’. That is resilience. You don’t ever give up. In competitive life, today, setbacks cannot be avoided.  A rubber ball when thrown to the ground, bounces back. But you have to bounce back even higher knowing that repeated falls are inevitable.

Resilience gives you courage not to abort the journey because of problems in the way. Life’s journey in variably has many impediments. Often times these are unexpected ones. Everyday must brings a new beginning. It’s like writing on a clean slate about life. Experience is said to be a unique teacher. You fall, you get up, you are hurt, and yet again you fall but you keep going. Every time you fall and get up there is lesson to learn. Accepting this reality without being mentally disturb  is resilience.

It requires trust in you to maintain this positive attitude. A bird sitting on a branch of tree continues to do so in spite of wind shaking the branch. The bird does not believe that the branch will not fall, but it has faith on its wings. There is no material as resilient as the human spirit. Once we realize and accept this, we are able to take control of our attitude which in turn, strengthens our confidence.

In other words, resilience is how you respond and recover from what has happened to you. Your experience will tell you that it is best not to expect that things will happen the way you want these. Efforts may not bring the result that you desired. But efforts must make our resolve even stronger. Energize you to make your will like a rock that is capable of even facing even more powerful jolts. That is resilience.

Further, challenges only make the life more interesting. Meeting the challenges makes the life more meaningful. Every day gives you an experience, a lesson for the future.

You have to be patient with yourself. Take only one step at a time Step by step you are able to climb the most steep, most difficult mountain. You must repeat to yourself that you alone have the power and responsibility to face your challenges bravely and try to come out as a winner.

Today, we must accept this new reality without being mentally hurt. A person may not be the strongest, but he/she needs to be most adaptable to change. One must always remember that the real strength of a person is known when being strong is the only choice, the only way to survive.

Golden Rules to Build Your Confidence

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Lack of Confidence

First of fall we need to understand the reason for lack of confidence. Lack of confidence is due to a fear of one kind or another (mostly unfounded). As an American wrote, “my life was full of misfortunes which never happened”.

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Of course, one need not be reckless. Yet, harboring fear never helps. We need to think rationally and pen down what makes us afraid and why. This process helps remove some of the fear and begins the path of building confidence.

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A famous Management Guru one said that there are four ‘C’s which form the foundation of an individual’s growth and a Company’s progress. These four virtues are – Curiosity, Confidence, Courage and Consistency. The most important of these happen to be Confidence. If absence of confidence the other virtues will simply disappear.

It is said that “they conquer who believe they can”. Self-belief is thus the second important factor in building up confidence. Confidence emerging out of self-belief is necessary for any significant achievement. New opportunities always carry some incidence of chance. For taking any initiative you must be prepared to take calculated risk. In fact not taking any risk is the biggest risk of life.

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Further, Confidence enables you to trust yourself. And if you don’t trust yourself, nobody else will. No one will feel secure in placing any responsibility on you. That will be the dead end. There is no further growth.

Lost Opportunities

Often we do not see opportunities because we are not interested. On the face of it, lack of desire acts as a strong handicap in our progress and growth. But, Confidence trains our mind to desire what the situation demands. It makes us alert enough to recognize and seize emerging opportunities. With desire created by confidence we look ahead, strive hard and succeed.

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Confidence breeds courage

For taking risk of any kind one needs to have courage. If we have confidence; we will be able to rise up to the demands of the situation. So we must go ahead and take calculated risk. Courage enables us to move ahead! Yet, if there is no confidence it will be very difficult to harness courage.

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Smile

Most people lack self-confidence. You can help them! Smile. Your smile will reassure them. You will be doing a great job helping them to gain confidence. This is particularly true when somebody is meeting a new group of people. We must also remember that the more we are helping others to gain confidence, the more we enhance our own self-confidence! We help ourselves too!!!

Thanks for reading.

 

Leadership Qualities

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In my last presentation, I had defined Leadership. I had also explained what it takes to be a good leader. How must a leader go about performing his/her duty that would justify leadership.  Today, I shall talk to you about the characteristic elements of personality which are necessary for a good leader:

  1. The first on the list is Honesty. Honesty towards oneself. This means that the Leader must be himself or herself all the time. At no time the Leader should try to copy anyone or say something which he/she does not believe. The leader must believe in an honest, ethical behavior as a key value. All the actions will foster among the team members the same value. Once accepted the value can be a strong bond among members of the team, a group, or an organization.          images2
  2. The second quality which a leader must have is the ability to delegate. This requires the leader’s trust in the members of the team. Besides, the leader should have the ability to identify the strengths and weaknesses of the members. This will help in assigning appropriate tasks to individual members. Such a delegation will be meaningful and the results will be more productive.                                                                                                                                                       ????????????????????????????????????????????
  3. Excellent communication represents the third important quality of a good leader. The leader should be in a position to communicate in a language which is understood by all – be it an uneducated skilled worker on the floor or the CEO who is a member of the board.Further the leader must ensure that whatever has been communicated is not only understood, but assimilated by all concerned. This will be possible only if the leader has an open mind and encourages rather than discourages feedback.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   communication
  4. Excellent communication represents the third important quality of a good leader. The leader should be in a position to communicate in a language which is understood by all – be it an uneducated skilled worker on the floor or the CEO who is a member of the board.Further the leader must ensure that whatever has been communicated is not only understood, but assimilated by all concerned. This will be possible only if the leader has an open mind and encourages rather than discourages feedback.                                                                                                                                                          humor1
  5. Excellent communication represents the third important quality of a good leader. The leader should be in a position to communicate in a language which is understood by all – be it an uneducated skilled worker on the floor or the CEO who is a member of the board.Further the leader must ensure that whatever has been communicated is not only understood, but assimilated by all concerned. This will be possible only if the leader has an open mind and encourages rather than discourages feedback.                                                                                                                                                                                                       confidence
  6. A strong sense of commitment is the next aspect of positive leadership. Committed leaders often have a hands on approach and are able to do it themselves especially in times of a crisis. This approach ensures the commitment of the team, which feels secure under such decisive leadership.                                                                                                   committment
  7. A positive attitude is also a very important aspect of leadership. Positive Attitude of the Leader ensures high energy levels of the team members. It also ensures that the Leader looks at every challenge as an opportunity rather than a roadblock. possitive attitude
  8. A positive attitude is also a very important aspect of leadership. Positive Attitude of the Leader ensures high energy levels of the team members. It also ensures that the Leader looks at every challenge as an opportunity rather than a roadblock.  creativity
  9. The leader’s quality of Institution refers to his gut feeling about the course of action he is to take. The quality of Intuition enables a leader to take calculated risks in decision making when facing an unforeseen situation.                                                         intuition
  10. The leader’s quality of Institution refers to his gut feeling about the course of action he is to take. The quality of Intuition enables a leader to take calculated risks in decision making when facing an unforeseen situation.                                                                  ability to inspire1

Thanks for reading.

Self-confidence

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Self-confidence

Your confidence depends on how you have been influenced by people around you till now. Be it your parents, your teachers, your friends and others you have been meeting. Some of the influences have created positive impact. ‘Yes, you can do it and you must try’. This motivates you to act even if there is some risk. ‘No, you can’t do it’, ‘it is not for you’ ‘what will others say when you fail’- these are some of the negative thoughts, instilled by people around you, or due to your own brooding. These hold you back.

Faith, Fear and Action are three most important ingredients of your self confidence. Today, everyone realizes the importance of self-confidence. Your career, your relations with others, your progress in life or even your reputation- all depend on your self- confidence. Your ability to overcome fears and your determination to take action even in adverse circumstances give it a boost. Anyone who wants to grow in life must develop ability to take some risk. Of course, you must not be a dare-devil. No need to deliberately expose yourself to great risk just to show off. Nor is there a need to take risk without thinking about the results. But some calculated risk of taking action to move forward in life is necessary.Self-confidence

Life is not a straight line. Like the waves in the sea, it moves up and down. There is low tide and there is high tide. There could be storms like we have in the ocean. You have to accept the challenge and move forward. Your determined action further enhances your faith and allays your fears. Consider that your body is a ship. And your mind is the captain of your ship. Just as the captain of the ship has to take decisions and take action all the time- 24×7, you must do that too. This will generate the required self-confidence. And, you will start viewing the life differently. It will no longer be a burden that tires you. It will be an interesting journey that will keep you in good cheer.

Some other suggestions to build your confidence and conquer your fears are:

  1. Belief in yourself
  2. Associate with confidence people
  3. Keep motivating yourself by dwelling on positive thoughts
  4. Be the master of your ship of life.
  5. Never remain idle.

Thank you.

High Self-confidence