Ego is often confused with self respect or confidence. In fact it shouldn’t be. Ego is the worst enemy of the individual’s success. There are many ways in which ego creates handicaps. I am listing below eight of these, the prominent ones.
1. Thinking objectively: False ego does not allow you to think objectively. In the world today interaction with others at every stage is critical. In case you are not able to think objectively, invariably, you end up in creating unnecessary differences. When the people argue vehemently and take it personally, ego is the hidden culprit.
2. Causes hesitation: A person suffering from ego often hesitates to reach out to people. Our progress depends on how well others support us. Any handicap or inability to collaborate with others and seek their help becomes an obstacle.
3. Makes you judgmental: A person who is dominated by his/her ego considers ‘own’ opinions as the best. It leads to a tendency of passing judgments even on subjects unknown. The worst comes when you passed judgments on others, their personality, appearance or conduct etc.
4. Impairs listening skills: Ego does not allow the person to be a good listener. They start speaking more to impose their presence. As they are judgmental, they are no longer to open others’ say. In, turn it makes them confined to themselves. If you don’t listen to others, it’s not possible to understand them. In such a situation it’s difficult to hold a constructive dialogue.
5. People’s perception about you: Ego sets you to think ‘I don’t care’. You tend to strongly hold on to your own perception about you. This does not enable you to gel well with others. People avoid your company and you become secluded. A secluded person develops a negative attitude.
6. Inappropriate language: language is the only means of our communication with others, of sharing our thoughts, of learning from others’ experiences. But the egoist in his/her effort to dominate forgets the importance of using appropriate language. Others feel upset though, at times, they may not show it. But they brew ill feelings in their mind.
7. Building relationship: The business today requires not only a good proposal but also ability to build relations. In fact, many companies including banks employ relationship managers. Their job is not sales but just to introduce the organization to the prospective clients. Ego will always come in as a big obstacle in building relations. This is true not only in business but also in social and family environment.
8. Affects negotiating skills: A good negotiator prepares him/her well before going to negotiating table. They visualize all possibilities. On one side they prepare their arguments on the other they have to consider the possible arguments of the opposite party. Even if the person prepares very well so far as strategy is concern, ego will not allow having a smooth sailing during negotiations. There can be no successful negotiation in such a case.
The Dictionary meaning of Poise is composure or self-possession or equilibrium.
Thus a poised person is self-assured and carries himself/herself gracefully and with dignity.
For human beings the difficulty arises due to emotions. If anything is not happening as per the expectation, the individual is likely to react in a way which is often irrational. Poise is difficult to maintain. However, the benefits are immense. A poised person is able to deal with all kinds of people calmly and elegantly.
How to maintain poise? Psychologists after research have come to certain conclusions, which I would like to reproduce below:
The biggest enemy of poise is anger. Everyone would agree that anger is not beneficial to the individual under any circumstances. A person gets angry due to uncomfortable situations due to uncomfortable situations or due to his/her own inadequacies to meet the situations. One may also get angry if someone insults or speaks in a manner which is unworthy. But with practice one can meet all challenges. They can remain cool in all circumstances but this will happen with consistent efforts and self awareness.
You should laugh with others even if joke is on you. Any sarcastic remarks can easily be laugh away. Apply mind to come out with the solution. This will happen if you take things in their straight.
Life is mixture of highs and lows. Good things are followed by challenges just like night falls after day the life does not offer a regular cycle like night and day. But both difficulties and happy moments are a part of everybody’s’ life. We need to be appreciated. Keep your spirit up even when things go wrong.
Ego is another enemy of poise. Unfortunately this malady is wide spread. It is found in most well-to-do people. Realizing that ego does not serve any purpose we should throw it out from our life.
Thanks for reading.