Managing Self

Why Apathy to these Two Critical Skills?

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Education is necessary, but skills are essential. Unfortunately, our education system per se is such that it hardly helps an individual develop skills. Much less the skills, I think, are most important for living life happily and successfully.  I am talking about two skills in particular –

  1. Skill of managing self.
  2. Skill of managing relationships.

A child is born with some tendencies which may have a lot to do with his/her parentage. What is his father’s attitude to life, what is that of his mother, and more importantly how is their relationship with each other. While these factors continue to have their influence on the growth of the child, various other influences start playing an important role during the growing years. The teacher, the class mates, friends, relatives, and neighbors – all influence the child. It is hard to say how much these help in developing either of the two skills which I have mentioned above – skill with self, and skill with other people.

So what should be done?  What are the best steps that can be taken by all concerned for developing both these skills – skill with self & skill with people?

The education system, as it is today, can hardly help. Teachers are bound by the curriculum and the parents may not be able to find the time from their busy schedule in the modern competitive life.  But the ever growing media today can play a very important role provided parents are able to guide and regulate the exposure and use of the media by the child.

The significance of Internet must not be undermined. All the knowledge required is available on the net. But one may say that a skill cannot be delivered by the information/knowledge on the net. Yes it is true to a large extent. Yet, you tube presentations and other interactive programs make it possible to learn a lot from the net. In times to come, I am sure; the growth of the social media with websites focusing on special subjects will bring about a revolution in the concept of education and training. The need is that the parents, teachers and mentors motivate learners to be focused and stick to what they need to do. They should not be distracted.

Developing skill with yourself, to me, means your ability to listen and talk to your own self. It also means to understand your heart, identify what you really like. Thereafter, one needs to concentrate one’s energies towards these. You must leverage your talent and your fondness.

Developing skill with people, simple means to understand basic human psychology. Your interaction with them should never ignore the following fundamental principles;

  1. That each person is interested in himself/herself more than you.
  2. That I, me, mine put people off.
  3. That making people talk makes them feel important.
  4. That when you win an argument you lose a friend.
  5. That listening attentively to others will impress them. They like you most when you do that.
  6. That you need to skillfully convince people. If you say something that is obviously to your advantage, people will be skeptical. So do it differently. Say how an important third person appreciated your products/efforts/services. This will help build confidence in the minds of people about you.

Thanks for reading.

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